Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fiesta at Bio-Mom's

I'm seeing bio-mom this weekend. We're going to her house for the afternoon. A few other friends will be in town too and have agreed to go with me. I was going to turn it into a sort of 'Wedding Workshop/Bridesmaid & Bio-Mom Meet and Greet'. But now it's just a 'Please come with me to bio-mom's because I know you're curious to meet her plus she's inviting her friends over so I'm nervous to meet them' afternoon get together. I am so thankful to my friends for coming with me. Bio-mom is inviting her friends over too and usually I have Andrew for support but this time it's just going to be a girl's thing.

Why do I need anyone's support, you ask? (And yes, I do find that annoying about myself.) Just because I get nervous. Everyone is watching me and watching her and looking to see what the similarities are. And I hate being watched. Plus, I've met some of her friends here in California and it's just a tiny bit awkward going into another friend group where everyone has known each other for years. Everyone is completely nice, but still... I do not infiltrate friend groups very well. I always get anxious and assume no one will like me and that I won't fit in. It's hard to throw out that old habit. I try and sometimes I succeed, but not very often. And most people won't believe that I actually get anxious. It's because I work very hard to hide it. VERY hard. I can be really good at hiding my emotions when I have some prep time in advance. I can be wicked good at it. Seriously. You. Do. Not. Know. You may think you do. But you do not.

I'm hoping the weekend is easy-breezy. And I'm sure it will be. Bio-mom is making Mexican food. Ah crap. I didn't think about the fact that I'm half (some variety of) Hispanic. It now seems very cliche. And I'm the one who suggested Mexican because I know everyone likes it. Oh well. There will be margaritas and that takes away the cliche from anything!

I just want to say this to the friends who will be there. Please don't get tipsy and tell her about any of the assholish things I did as a teenager. Please. If it turns into a Christina roast, I'm out the back door and over the fence. The situation is still too sensitive and new for that.


  1. I'm sorry that I haven't committed to coming. I would love to be there and to support you! I feel like a jerk but there important neglected things that need to be taken care of I can't seem to find the time during the week. Sorry for being a bad friend.

  2. You're not a bad friend. You me smile more on a daily basis than anyone besides Andrew. It's okay.