I'm getting some feedback on the post below from my most trusted advisor (Andrew). He thinks that maybe I should tell my mom some of the things I've said here but have not said to her. That I should let her know I'm disappointed. After all, how long can this go on, her just pretending bio-mom doesn't exist? And my response to Andrew, "You know... this is why I'm pro-choice. Sometimes abortion can be the best for everyone."
Relax, it's a joke! I'm not being morbid or self-loathing.
Okay, I'm not entirely kidding either.
Relax, it's a joke! I'm not being morbid or self-loathing.
Okay, I'm not entirely kidding either.
First: apologies for this comment being long and sort of ranty. I have to wholeheartedly agree with Andrew. If nothing else the fact that you note that you've been trained NOT to upset your mum is part of the problem. It's a downward spiral, and I think you know that you are likely to be encouraging your kids to not talk to grandma about biograndma in the future. That's a dangerous precedent to set- one that you've lived your whole life dealing with and I'm sure you won't want your kids to have to go through. The problem with victimization and lies and losing trust is it is cyclical. Someone has to break the cycle. I don't even mean to suggest that it will actually fix anything- that your relationship with your parents will be magically repaired, but I do believe breaking that cycle of lies and mistrust is very important for you and your life and your family both present and future. I think you are tremendously brave for addressing all of this head on, for sticking up for yourself, for confronting the issue. And I apologize for the very preachy tone of this comment, but this is what stuck out in my brain when I read your last post.
ReplyDeleteAMEN! Couldn't have said it better myself. Watch out for the slippery slope...
ReplyDelete