Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I started an account. It's free for the first 14 days. I want to find out where bio-dad's family is from. Am I half Mexican? Half Peruvian? Half Guatemalan? So far, I'm not finding much. Except I did find a phone number. The second I saw it, I picked up the phone and dialed the number. I couldn't help myself. It was a Vegas number. I was met on the other end of the line by a seemingly young male voice. I said, "Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong number. I was trying to reach a business." He said, "Okay" and that was that. That sped up my pulse just a little bit.

I can't find any birth records for him or the sister who is closest in age to him. It's possible they weren't born in this country, I guess. I know they grew up here and didn't speak Spanish but their parent's did... so I was thinking they were probably born here (in Colorado to be exact). Although his name is popular, I should know it when I find something. I have bio-dad's date of birth and social security number (thank you, my under cover agent!). That ought to get me pretty far, right? People have stolen identities with less information than that! I just want to trace a damn heritage, that's all.

I don't want to contact bio-dad right now. I don't know what I would be inviting into my life. I already feel a little overwhelmed as it is. Plus, he has a criminal record so I don't know exactly what I'll find. And finding him means finding 4 aunts and a big ole' bio-extended family. It could also mean drama for bio-mom so I'll let it go for now. Maybe revisit the idea in a year. For now, I just want to know, "What am I???" (Keep the smart remarks at bay, huh?)

1 comment:

  1. Christina, thank you for iviting others to your blog by posting a link on the facebook adoption network. I am moved by what you dealing with. I am an adoptive mother of a 17 month old baby. She is from Africa, we are white, so even if we wanted to there would be no keeping her adoption a secret. We will know who her first mother was, but she will be honored and celebrated for giving life to my daughter. I've been thinking about that since Mother's day is coming up... how we can honor her FOR my daughter. I know that my daughter's story is hers to keep, not ours to keep from her. your feelings are legitimate, your birthmother did nothing wrong. The system failed you all. It failed your parents by never letting them know the damages keeping this from you would do, It failed your birth mother leaving her with loss of her child never knowing if you knew of her. It clearly failed you. I will keep you in my prayers.