I have worked very very hard to know who I am... to know what I want, to understand my strengths and my limitations. But now, every once in a while, I wonder who I might have been. I'm sure everyone wonders about "What if I had made this choice differently?" or "What if this event hadn't happened?" Finding out that I'm adopted has brought me a new round of those questions.
When I was growing up, I didn't look very much like my parents (and I was suspicious), but I didn't look very different from them either. Bio-mom has posted pictures on Facebook. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. I do not. So, I have wondered from time to time... was there a mix up here? Was there another child at the hospital being put up for adoption that day? Do I have to hurl myself into a 1980's made-for-tv movie and start looking into this?
Well, I found an explanation for that early on... bio-mom tells me that bio-dad is Hispanic. So, that explains things a bit. I guess the Hispanic gene is stronger than the blonde German gene (TAKE THAT, HITLER... UP YOURS!). My name was almost Daniella Salazar (Dani for short). I was almost raised with exposure to some cultural heritage. Bio-mom says bio-dad didn't speak Spanish but his parents did. I just wonder what my life may have been like growing up with that. I just can't help but wonder, who is Daniella Salazar? What is she like? Would Christina Williams like her? Would she be very different from me? Happier? Better off? Or maybe she would be lame? I don't know... but I can't help but wonder.
Awesome Christina! My husband is Spanish and his family is very traditional which is formal. All family events include china and presents galore! It's like every get-together is Christmas. It's very exciting to read of your experiences and I hope that you continue to share them.
ReplyDelete1. I'm remedial; my bookmark was broken. I spent a lot of time reading tonight & catching up.
ReplyDelete2. I'm immensely proud to be your friend; I admire your integrity, your honesty, your intelligence and so many other things about you. Please keep writing.
I think it is a very real therapy for "thinkers" like us and aside from that, you do it well.
With <3,
Kristen
I actually can see you as that! But I like you better as Christina W. :)
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