Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Cat's Out of the Bag

Bio-mom sent me an email this morning... just like every other morning, but this time there was a new development involving bio-sis. The email went something like this:

Well, it's over. We had a discussion last night [bio-mom, her husband and her daughter] about trust and honesty and she told me that I wasn't being honest with her. I asked her what she thought I wasn't being honest about and she said it was "you." She found a letter I wrote to you a while back and got returned.

So, bio-sis has known all along! She knew about me before I knew about me....HA! At least she wasn't the last one to know. This is kinda comical and I should have seen this coming. I found out so many things my parents tried to keep from me in order to protect me (present situation excluded). When you break down this situation, you can clearly see that bio-sis was being sensitive about the situation and protecting bio-mom a bit. She could have easily confronted her mom right away or called her out on it any time since she found the letter but she must have thought about it and didn't want to hurt her mom. I think it's thoughtful of bio-sis. Bio-mom asked bio-sis if she had any interest in meeting me. Bio-sis's response was, "Yes, she is a part of me." That was nice to "hear." I would love to get to know her but she's a 16 year old girl... they aren't always rational, you know? I just don't want her to feel weired out by my existence or feel like I'm trying to push myself on her. I'm not. Not at all. If she doesn't want anything to do with me, I'll get over it.

I was forming a new blog post in my head this week. It was going to be titled... "Stalling" because bio-mom was kind of stalling on telling bio-sis... out of some fear for her daughter, for herself, for the stability of her family. She told me last week that she was thinking the coming weekend would be a good time to tell her. But then she emailed me on Monday that bio-sis was not feeling well so she didn't want to have that talk then.... it "wasn't a good time." Stalling.

So, now bio-mom is free to tell her extended family and her friends about me. She was waiting because she didn't want to tell other people and risk them bringing it up around bio-sis without bio-sis knowing yet. Bio-mom says she is eager to tell everyone about me because she's so proud of the person I have become and how great I am, yadda yadda. Just a reminder that she doesn't know me very well yet! HA!

This brings us to the point of having a REAL discussion about meeting [biting my nails at the thought of that]. She thinks they might come to California over Labor Day weekend. That is only a couple of weeks away. YIKES! My stomach turns a bit with nerves and anticipation [do you see that? No, of course you don't... I'm biting my nails again as I pause in typing this blog - STOPPIT CHRISTINA!].

So, it's getting even more "real" folks. Really really real. The real deal. Fo' real. Fo' sho. Fo' shizzle my nizzle. The universe is screaming 'THIS IS YOUR LIFE, BIOTCH' in my face.... Ay Dios Mio!

5 comments:

  1. I'm falling in love with this whole story. Mostly I think it's amazing that it is going so well. The Universe is totally in love with both of you. Bio-mom is lucky that you are as resilient as you are, and you are lucky she is the same. Maybe you got that from her? The open-minded, strong, "super cool" part. PS- we could have shared our name!
    Dani

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  2. This is your life...Enjoy it!

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  3. I also think this is really exciting. Of all the possible outcomes, I can't really think of a better one. Labor Day IS soon - but once it's done, the first step, which is ALWAYS the hardest one - things will be easier.

    What a ride... what a ride.

    Love you always,
    K

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  4. Remember what we talked about when we finally had the chance to see each other and discuss the details? About how amazing that ALL these people love (not past tense) and WANTED YOU!! :)

    I'm impressed with the kid sister...I also agree that it's good she wasn't the last to know.

    I can only imagine what your nails look like but just hold onto the fact that YOU ARE LOVED! It's going to be completely bizarro/wonderful. What could be less mundane than that? Enjoy!

    Can't wait to see you and share in the excitement. xx Stacey

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  5. Wow. This is incredible! You have to meet her while you have an opportunity. And lots of pictures to document everything. Wow, wow, wow.

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