Sunday, January 31, 2010

Bio-mom Confessions

I saw bio-mom this weekend. She came here for her friend's daughter's 21st birthday party (she's a really good friend). Andrew and I picked her up at the airport on Wednesday night and went to Fuddruckers to eat dinner. We chit chatted for a little bit and then took her to her friend's house.

I saw her again on Friday. Twice. First, I met her and her friend for lunch at Marie Calender's. This is a friend that I have met before. Then on Friday night, Andrew and I met her and a bigger group of friends (along with bio-mom's hubby and bio-sis who just drove into town that evening) at the beach in Huntington for a bonfire BBQ. It was late though, because they waited to go to the beach until the rest of the Vegas crew drove into town. They didn't get there until about 8pm. We were running a few minutes late ourselves. We got there and they were charging for parking but we had no cash. So we had to turn around and go to an ATM. I was annoyed at this point. But then bio-mom called and said they accidentally left some of the hot dogs at home, so we picked those up too. At least our extra trip wasn't a complete waste of time! Finally we got into the parking lot but then had trouble finding them. More time wasted looking for them. I really hate wasting time. Especially when I don't get to see bio-mom that often and our time is usually kind of limited anyway.

Bio-mom had a few beers by the time we got there so her inhibitions were a bit weakened. She ended up confessing to me that she snuck a look at my file when she was a teenager. Her first job was with the attorney who set up the adoption so it wasn't hard. And because she had my parent's info, it wasn't hard to get info as the years went on. She said she drove by our house a couple of times. I wasn't upset at hearing this. Zero judgment. I don't know how I would act in that situation. I would probably do the same. I like to know everything even when I don't have a personal connection. When I DO have a personal interest, I MUST know everything. Also that night, she said that she asked bio-sis's friends, "How does she [bio-sis] really feel about Christina?" Bio-sis's friends said something like, "She's cool with everything. She loves her. She calls her her sister from another mister." That was enough to bring out a good, hearty giggle. Bio-sis is funny. I like it!

I saw them again on Saturday night at the birthday party. I got there late because I had something else planned that night. Bio-mom had already been drinking all night and was a little tipsy when I got there. It was good though. She's a happy, friendly drunk. She gave me a letter. It is the letter she mailed me when I was 23. The same letter that bio-sis found. In it, she introduces herself and tells her story. In the end, she tells me she has always feared that I would have animosity toward her but she just wants to reach out to me and maybe I would want her in my life. The letter is postmarked on my birthday.

I had fun that night and definitely got drunk. I met many more of bio-mom's friends. We were quite the topic of conversation. And oh, how I love being stared at by strangers! One friend was particularly interested. She said that she sees our resemblance in our smiles and profile. Then drunken bio-mom says, "Noooo, she looks like HIM and I hate it!" She said that a few times that night. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Sorry." I'm not sure if she remembers saying that. It was kinda funny, I must admit. There was also a point where tears were shed as a different group of friends (or friends of friends) asked about me. She was saying that she was just so afraid that I would hate her. I assured her that I never had any reason to.

I don't remember too much else from that night. But I DO have some pictures I can share!

Me with bio-sis (Sorry, I don't know why I was trying to 'cheers' with the camera):

Me, bio-mom, bio-sis and bio-mom's hubby jumped in:

I wasn't sure whether or not I should post any photos. But I knew some friends might want to see them. Bio-mom does not know about this blog and I plan on keeping it that way for now. I want to be able to just write whatever I want without any worry about hurting feelings, etc.

Oh, and have I mentioned how generous bio-mom is? She gave us a present this weekend - wine glasses and a bottle-stopper with a beautiful scroll "S" on them (for Andrew's last name). She also told me at the party that she wants to pay for something for our wedding. I was too busy saying "No no no no, not necessary" to hear if she said she wanted to pay for something in particular. She's just so nice. I honestly don't know if anyone else on the planet has ever had a better, 'I found out I was adopted via facebook when I was 29 years old' experience. Yeah. Mine's totally the best ever!


  1. This is sooooo amazing, Christina! I am so happy that this relationship is going so well! I love the fact that you posted pictures. Do you realize what an incredible blessing this is for all of you? I am totally tearing up right now.

  2. Ohhh, lovin' that. I agree... MUST.KNOW.EVERYTHING. I'd likely do just as she did. My sister calls me her Sista from anotha Mista. hehe

    And looking at that first picture. I was totally confused. But.. how?? She looks so young to be her mother!??! Duuuuh. Me thinks it is late and I obviously need some sleep.

    I am so happy for you that you are satisfied with how things have turned out for you. You all look very happy together. :)

  3. I wish I hadn't of been sick and could have met bio-mom!!!!!! You have the same smile in the pic with bio-husband and sis!

    I love witnessing your story play out and appreciate you sharing! I'm so very happy for you and your extended bio-family!

  4. Wow you and your mom have the same smile! This must be such a wonderful and exciting time. I'm so happy for you!

  5. Yeah- you totally win the "I had this potentially awkward experience" game.